


you with the sad eyes

by Ella_writes



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-06-28 11:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19811551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ella_writes/pseuds/Ella_writes
Summary: In which Tony notices that Loki’s eyes are the same colour as possessed Clint’s, and decides to do something about it. Set during The Avengers





	1. Chapter 1

“You want a drink?” Tony poured out two glasses of whiskey, moving towards Loki and trying to ignore the quickening pounding in his chest. He was no stranger to gambling, but Tony didn’t usually stake his life and the fate of his entire planet on one ballsy move.

Loki raised an eyebrow, amused, and seemingly willing to entertain the eccentricities of the puny mortal. That’s what Tony was hoping anyway.

“It would not serve you well to become inebriated before our battle.” Loki took the second glass from him.

“Might as well pregame before my inevitable death. Isn’t that right, Reindeer Games? Go out like a man?” Tony stepped closer to Loki, slowly enough as to not be perceived as a threat.

“You Midgardians have odd gender conventions,” said Loki, with a wicked grin on his face. Tony looked down to see his tumbler having been replaced with the kind of cocktail even the flooziest of Tony’s lovers would have been embarrassed to be seen drinking. He stifled a smirk. Loki wanted to play tricks? He could work with that.

“Oh, I could show you much more proof of my being a man,” Tony purred, moving half an inch closer. He must be going mad, he decided, being this close to a homicidal maniac and flirting with the fucker while he was still wielding his magic wand.

Loki seemed unfazed, and if he sensed Tony’s fear, he didn’t use it to his advantage. Tony did notice his eyes flicker up and down Tony’s body. His eyes. They were interesting. A very familiar shade of piercing blue.

Tony stepped closer, so their chests were almost touching. He leaned in and whispered seductively in Loki’s ear.

“What about you? Want to show me how they make big strong warriors in Asgard?” Tony was playing up to Loki’s ego shamelessly, and it was working. Loki stared at him with large pupils, either confused or aroused, or a healthy mix of both.

Tony trailed his hands over Loki’s chest and over his arms. Loki closed his eyes as Tony’s fingers danced downwards- -and yanked the sceptre out of his hands. Before Loki could react, Tony slammed his body into Loki’s-fuck he was ridiculously heavy-and tapped the point into the centre of Loki’s chest.

But instead of Loki becoming subservient, Tony found himself within a vision.

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_Loki was there, a lot younger and healthier looking. An old man with an eyepatch was with him._

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_“You could have told me what I was from the beginning,” Loki’s voice was full of pain and betrayal, and his eyes held anger for the man in front of him. “Why didn’t you?”_

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_“You’re my son,” the older man said softly, not altogether convincingly. “I wanted only to protect you from the truth.”_

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_Loki was very clearly holding back tears at this, looking hurt in a way that made Tony feel odd._

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_“What, because I-I-I’m the monster who parents tell their children about at night? No, it all makes sense now,” Loki’s voice became hostile, snarling at his father. “Why you favoured Thor, all these years.”_

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_Tony could relate to that somewhat. He knew what it was like, being the small one in the shadow of the big beefy blond. Maybe Rogers wasn’t his brother, but growing up he’d been acutely aware of the fact that his father showed more love for a war hero who’d been MIA for forty years than his own son. Maybe he was more similar to Loki than he thought. Tony shuddered. Awful thought._

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_“Because no matter how much you claimed to love me,” Loki’s words spoke of betrayal, they spoke of mistrust. “You could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard,” he spat out. Tony paused at that. Frost giant? That was new._

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_The scene changed._

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_They were on the rainbow road from Mario Kart. Okay, maybe not, but that’s what it looked like. Loki was dangling over the abyss of space, holding on to Thor, who was being held by that old dude again._

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_“I could have done it father!” Loki cried out desperately, sounding impossibly young and heartbreaking. “I could have done it! For you,” he cried, looking like no more than a boy looking for the approval he had craved all his life. “For all of us,” he finished, bravado slipping, wearing his emotions on his face, looking so desperate, reaching out for his father’s kindness._

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_“No, Loki,” and now Tony really wanted to punch this guy. What kind of a dad was he? Here was his-well he didn’t know how old Loki was, but judging by his behaviour-teenaged son (or whatever the Asgardian equivalent of that was), dangling over an abyss, desperately reaching out for help, looking dangerously like he was about to let go, and what did dear old dad do?_

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_God, Tony was starting to realise how similar their childhoods had been, Norse mythology aside. That was a thought he didn’t really want to entertain._

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_Tony saw it coming before it happened. Loki’s faced changed from broken to resigned, almost peaceful, and he let go._

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_The scene changed once more._

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_A giant hulking form, glad in golden armour. Loki’s body lay awkwardly on the rocky terrain, looking far smaller and far more broken than Tony thought the god had any capability of looking. The giant figure reached out a purple arm, and touched the golden finger of the gauntlet to Loki’s chest. The stone embedded in the gauntlet glowed and Loki seized and woke up, his eyes immediately turning a bright piercing blue._

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_“Child,” rumbled the giant, using his hand to tip Loki’s chin up, forcing him to meet his gaze. “Who are you loyal to?”_

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_Loki’s voice was flat, devoid of any of the humour and snark that usually laced his words. “I swear undying fidelity to the Lord Thanos.”_

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_Thanos. Huh. It suited this purple asshole, Tony thought._

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_Thanos moved over to retrieve a weapon, and Tony finally got a good look at Loki. He looked awful. His face was sallow and gaunt, and his skin looked like it had received multiple chemical burns. His hair was matted and he looked painfully thin. Thanos walked back over to Loki, holding a sceptre-the sceptre. He plucked the gem from the gauntlet, and placed it within the blade. He handed it over to Loki, and Tony wanted to scream because that was SUCH a bad idea, Loki was a little shit, but Loki simply took it._

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_“The Chituari will come at your call, child.”_

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_Loki said nothing._

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Tony stumbled backwards from Loki, still clutching the sceptre. Loki stared at him, seemingly terrified, and Tony started at his appearance.

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Dark blue patterns had begun to emerge on his skin, and he felt the temperature drop significantly. Tony noticed that all his furniture was levitating.

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“Uh,” said Tony, eloquently. “Could you put my furniture down? It was quite expensive.”

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Loki seemed to gain control and slowly lowered the furniture on to the ground, not breaking eye contact with Tony. 

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Those eyes. Bright blue, almost unnaturally so. Tony knew where he recognised them from. They were the same colour as Clint’s when he was under the influence of the sceptre.

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“Your dad sucks,” Tony said eventually.

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Loki glared at him, but with Tony grasping the sceptre, there was nothing he could do.

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“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t tell Thor.”

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“Don’t tell him what?”

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“That I’m a...a-”

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“Frost giant?”

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Loki blanched, and nodded.

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Tony looked at him, stood defensively, staring at him with suspicion.

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“You don’t want to do this,” Tony said.

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“You have no power to stop me,” said Loki, almost by compulsion.

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Right. His eyes were still freaky. How had Clint managed to get rid of his freaky eyes? Oh yeah. Nat had given him a headache.

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“JARVIS, a gauntlet,” he commanded, and Loki stared with confusion.

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A gauntlet flew to attach itself to his arm, and he blasted the ground in front of Loki, sending him hurtling backwards, crashing into the wall and slumping to the ground.

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Tony winced. He moved over to where Loki lay, not relinquishing his hold on the sceptre just yet.

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Loki slowly opened his eyes, which were now a soft green colour. Tony felt like cheering.

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Loki made to stand up, but Tony held out the gauntlet, keeping him on the floor.

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“Okay, here’s the deal, Morticia. You didn’t want to invade. It wasn’t your fault, and I can’t blame you any more than I can blame Clint, and considering he’s on his way here to fight you, he’s got away with everything.”

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Loki opened his mouth, but Tony talked over him.

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“I don’t want you going back to wherever your father is, call me soft, but I get your daddy issues. You’re staying on Earth. Either you can go into SHIELD custody, where you’ll become some sort of lab rat, or you can do exactly as I say right now, and you’ll stay here.”

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Loki looked down. 

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“You midgardians have strange ideas,” he said quietly.

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“Yeah, and this one’s about to save your skinny ass, so what is it?’

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Loki looked Tony in the eye, and Tony saw confusion, doubt, fear, regret, all displayed within his green eyes.

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“I do not wish to be a lab rat,” he said hesitantly.

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“Okay, so listen to me,” Tony said urgently. “When the others get here, don’t say anything, even if you object to what I’m saying. Don’t talk to anyone, particularly Thor. Understand?”

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Loki nodded.

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The earpiece in his ear crackled. “Stark, we see you and Loki,” said Steve’s voice. “Hold tight.”

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	2. Chapter 2

“Are the aliens coming?” Demanded Tony urgently.

“What?”

“Your alien army. Are they coming?”

“The Chituari will only come at my call,” replied Loki.

“Good. Don’t call them.”

Tony took in the situation. Loki was slumped against the wall, but still managed to look imposing with his weird horns and gold armour.

“You need to look weaker.”

Loki stared at Tony incredulously.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Magic up some chains or whatever, you need to look like I’ve subdued you.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“You wish to see me bound?”

“Yes,” said Tony. Loki smiled. “I mean no! Not like that you-now is not the time!”

Loki rolled his eyes, and green magic surrounded him, giving him the appearance of being tied in chains.

There was an almighty crash as Thor burst through the window. Tony stared at him.

“Loki, your treachery stops now,” the god rumbled, oblivious to Tony’s indignation.

“Really?” Tony moved over to what had once been his window. “I’m all for making an entrance but I only just built this tower, and now look what you’ve done.”

“With all due respect Tony,” started Steve, stepping out of the elevator with the remaining avengers. “We do have more pressing issues at hand.”

“Do we?” Tony replied cockily. “Because the way I see it, I’ve successfully subdued Rock of Ages all by myself,” he avoided Loki’s eyes at this blatant lie, “No harm done, we can all go home.”

Clint stepped forwards, glaring daggers at Loki, who was smiling serenely at the archer.

“He needs to be dealt with,” said Clint, fingers inching towards his bow.

“Oh don’t worry.” Tony held out the sceptre. “I dealt with his glowing eyes the same way Nat did with yours.”

There was silence at this.

“Hold on,” said Bruce, having seemingly worked it out before everyone else. “You’re saying that Loki was-”

“Under the influence of something probably less fun than alcohol, yes.”

Loki frowned and opened his mouth, but was silenced by a severe look from Tony.

Thor beamed.

“Then brother, you may return to Asgard with me! Father will be most pleased to see you,” boomed Thor, moving to untie Loki, who sent a panicked glance towards Tony.

“Hey, hey, hey, Goldilocks, hang on a second,” Tony moved to stand in front of Loki. “We, uh, still need to sort out stuff here on Earth, and we kinda need him to stay here while we do that and...” he trailed off uncertainly, and looked at Natasha, who was eyeing him suspiciously. He sent a look towards her, and she stepped forwards.

“Tony’s right, we need Loki to stay on Earth while we clear up the mess that some unknown person has caused.”

Clint still had a murderous expression on his face.

Steve finally spoke up.

“Okay team, Tony and Thor will stay here with Loki while we make contact with Director Fury,” Tony rolled his eyes at the order, but didn’t interject. “Bruce, you tend to Dr Selvig, he’s on the roof, and rather confused. Barton, Romanoff, you’re with me while I coordinate search and rescue.”

“You’re with me while I coordinate search and rescue,” came Steve’s voice again, in an overly pompous tone, and Tony turned in time to see Steve’s figure change back to Loki’s in a flash of green.

Clint stepped forwards, drawing his bow.

“Shut the fuck up you stupid son of a bitch-”

“What did you say you foolish mortal?” Boomed Thor, advancing threateningly on to Clint.

“Chill out, Point Break, it’s just a turn of phrase,” Tony hurried to say. “I’m sure Mrs Odinson is perfectly lovely.”

Thor backed up, still glowering.

“And back off Katniss,” Tony turned to Clint. “That was funny.”

Steve looked as if he might interject, but Bruce spoke up.

“Tony, where are you going to put Loki? He asked suspiciously.

Tony suddenly became very interested in the ceiling.

“Stark?’ Prompted Clint.

“Here.”

“Here?” Questioned Bruce. “Here, as in, here in the tower that you’ve agreed to let us all live in?”

“It’s my tower,” Tony responded petulantly.

“And you didn’t think to consult the other residents of the place?” Growled Clint.

“You’ll all have your own floors, you won’t even know he’s there. Right Tricks?” He turned towards Loki, who merely raised an eyebrow in response.

“He can live on Pepper’s floor.”

“Won’t she need it?” Enquired Steve.

Tony looked at him for a long time.

“No,” he said simply.

Steve nodded, and turned away.

“Let’s go team,” he said, moving away.

Tony turned towards Thor.

“I will return to Asgard,” he said. He moved towards Loki, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I will inform father that you are being held on Midgard.”

Loki looked at him.

“You delude yourself that he will care.”

Thor looked as if he wanted to say more, but turned away. He moved towards the windows.

“Hey hey, buddy?” Tony jumped in. “You wanna use the elevator?”

Thor blinked, and obediently trudged across to the elevator. Loki refused to look at him.

Tony sighed and poured himself another whiskey. Loki stood up, illusions of chains disappearing in a flash.

Tony gestured vaguely towards Loki.

“You’re not gonna use your witch magic on me are you? Not gonna try and escape?”

“I rather think that would be counterintuitive, given that you’re currently the only thing standing between me and an audience with the All-Father,” Loki responded dryly.

Tony snorted, and downed his drink.

“Stark?’ Said Loki, quieter. “What you saw earlier, those visions-”

“Yeah I get it, not a word.” Tony replied, not unkindly. “It can be our little secret.” He winked, smiling when Loki rolled his eyes


	3. Chapter 3

Loki looked around the room that Stark had deposited him in. He’d rather expected something that resembled a prison cell, as opposed to the entire floor that had been lavishly furnished. But then again, he supposed, these chambers had been designed for someone else. Perhaps Stark was constructing a cell for him, and he would enjoy the luxurious rooms in the short interim.

Loki took the time to familiarise himself with his surroundings. His bedroom was large and spacious, with windows covering an entire wall, giving him a view of the city he had previously sought to destroy. He was rather glad that his plans had been foiled, for the architecture was indeed impressive for the mortals.

He explored the other rooms that had been made available to him. He was most impressed by the library, filled with bookcases containing all manner of books. He had not pegged Stark for much of a reader, although he may well have had outside influences when planning the repository.

He slid a book off the shelf and studied the cover. _The Picture of Dorian Gray_. Ah yes. Loki was familiar with the writings of Oscar Wilde. He had spent many pleasurable hours in the company of Mr Wilde on his last visit to Midgard.

“I wonder if he’s still around,” he mused aloud.

“I’m afraid Oscar Wilde died of meningitis in Paris in 1900,” came a voice that seemed to emanate from the walls.

Loki jumped, and sent a flash of green around the room. When no life form was detected, he frowned.

“Who’s there?”

“My name is JARVIS. I am Mr Stark’s Artificial Intelligence system, and I have been installed into all areas of the tower. I am here to assist you with anything you may require.”

“I cannot see you,” Loki replied suspiciously.

“I am not a tangible object,” came the smooth reply. “I am simply here to assist.”

“You are a spirit?” Loki was confused at this concept.

“I suppose I could be described as a spirit, although I was created by Mr Stark.”

“I see,” Loki decided not to press the issue further. JARVIS did not respond, although Loki was more attuned to his presence, and could sense he was still there.

He selected a few books at random-Shakespeare, Sturluson, Orwell-and returned to his room. He sat in the window seat and began to read.

Loki’s head snapped up as the door was flung open to reveal an irate Stark.

“What are you doing?” He demanded, squinting suspiciously at Loki, who stared at him.

“I’m reading.”

“You haven’t moved for three days, JARVIS told me. What gives? What evil plan are you concocting?”

“I wasn’t aware it had been three days. I’ve simply been reading.” Loki held up the copy of Poetic Edda he was reading. “I must say it is very amusing to see what ridiculous stories you mortals believe about us.”

“So you didn’t fuck a horse?” Stark grinned, moving over to plonk himself on the seat opposite Loki and look through his selection of books.

“Nor did I convince Thor to don a wedding dress in order to retrieve Mjolnir.”

“Shame. I think you’d look quite fetching in a bridesmaids outfit,” Stark winked.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him, before holding up the copy of _1984_ that he had read.

“I must say,” he said mischievously, “I was quite alarmed to note that someone had written about your spirit.”

“I resent that comparison,” came the smooth voice from above. Stark laughed.

Loki pointed to the ceiling. “See? Thinkpol is already dictating my opinions.”

Stark stood up.

“Well as big brother, I demand that you come up to the shared floor for some food because you haven’t eaten in three-how have you not eaten in three days?”

“I am a god,” Loki replied simply. “I am not bound by mortal physicality.”

Stark rolled his eyes.

“Just come with me, you need to eat. Spangles is cooking.”

“Ah, I’m not sure Barton will appreciate my presence,” Loki said, as delicately as he could manage.

“I’ve told him he has to play nice, don’t worry. Just behave and you’ll be fine.”

“Sir,” came the voice from the walls, “Mr Rogers is requesting your presence immediately, otherwise he was asked me to inform you that your meal will be going in the bin.”

“Well tell him that trying to lure Loki out of his room is proving to be exactly like handling a teenager, so he needs to chill the fuck out.”

Loki frowned, certain that he had just been insulted, but Stark winked at him, and moved towards the door.

“Coming, Maleficent?”

Loki took a deep breath and stood up, following Stark to what could very well become his certain doom, if Barton had anything to do with it.

He could do this.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki sat at the table, eyes firmly on his plate, ignoring Clint’s venomous glare. He wasn’t nervous. More like sensibly cautious.

He was acutely aware that every avenger with the exception of Stark had their weapons with them. Captain America had his shield strapped to his back, Romanoff had two fully loaded pistols next to her plate, and Clint looked seconds away from drawing his bow. Banner-well he looked under control for the moment, but Loki wasn’t sure how close to the surface his temper was simmering.

He was glad his oaf of a brother wasn’t in attendance. He had panicked when Thor made to take him back to Asgard, and now was wondering just what Thor was telling his father. He knew he would not be safe from Odin’s wrath should he choose to seek revenge on his former son.

“Loki,” came Stark’s voice, and Loki looked up to see the crockery floating a foot above the table. Okay, he may be a little nervous, he admitted to himself.

“I apologise,” Loki said stiffly, lowering the objects, and getting a firm control on his magic.

“If you could refrain from messing with our stuff-” started the Captain, before he was cut off by Stark.

“Oh leave off, Spangles, it’s not hurting anyone.” Stark sent Loki an almost imperceptible wink.

“Spangles?” Replied the Captain indignantly.

“You don’t like it?” Stark sat back in his chair nonchalantly.

“I would appreciate a little respect,” came the stiff reply.

“Would you now,” Stark sounded utterly bored, but there was a wicked glint in his eye. Clearly he enjoyed the righteous irritation that his comments provoked.

“Will you boys please stop arguing,” Romanoff looked irritated.

“Where I’m from, we call that flirting.” The words were out of Loki’s mouth before he could stop them. Five pairs of eyes were immediately on him, before Banner let out a chuckle.

This seemed to break the tension, and soon everyone with the exception of the Captain was laughing. Stark blew a kiss in the direction of the stoic blond, who merely raised an eyebrow in response.

* * *

Later that evening, Loki was on the roof, looking down at the twinkling lights of New York City. From here, he could appreciate the majesty of the city shrouded in darkness. He thought back to Asgard, where once night fell, the planet was pitch black until dawn. Loki had always preferred the light, and many times when he was young and afraid of the dark, his brother had held him and reassured him; “Don’t worry Loki, the sun will shine on us again.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re planning on jumping,” came Stark’s voice from behind him. Loki turned to see him leaning casually against the doorway, hands casually tucked into his trouser pockets.

Loki chuckled.

“Have no fear, I didn’t enjoy it the first time,” he turned back towards the city.

Stark remained silent.

“I’ve never seen a place so alive in the darkness,” Loki commented casually. Stark sauntered up, and stood next to him on the balcony.

“Everywhere I look, the city is lit up,” he continued. “There is not a dark corner to be seen.”

“It’s the city that never sleeps,” Stark offered by way of explanation.

“It truly is remarkable,” Loki murmured.

“Yeah, you seem like the type of person to be enthralled by sparkly things.” Loki could hear the eye roll in his voice. Stark placed a hand on his shoulder, and Loki turned to look him in the eye.

The lights that decorated the balcony reflected in Stark’s eyes, twinkling at him. Loki looked away.

“You know, my father forbade me from using my magic after the sun had set once he found out I was using it to illuminate my chambers. He said a true warrior learned to operate in the darkness just as well as he did during the daylight hours.”

“Your dad sounds like a dick,” Stark said.

“He may have had a point. You can’t sneak around so much during the day. I don’t think he meant to encourage my unmanly fighting, but it’s what he deserved.”

“Unmanly? Are you serious?” Stark sounded incredulous.

“Magic and trickery is not commonplace among Asgardians, and those that do wield magic are female healers. My father wanted me to fight like Thor,” Loki’s lip curled slightly. “I suppose he was just trying to hide my true identity from me.”

“Well I wouldn’t call you unmanly,” Stark said. Loki turned to face him once more. They were standing close together, and Loki could see the golden specks around Stark’s pupils, reflected in the soft glow of the lamps surrounding them.

“Well,” Loki said softly, “I wouldn’t have thought you’d call anyone unmanly given that they’re so often taller than you.”

“Ouch,” said Stark, grinning at Loki. “Cruel words.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“That I will. I’m going to bed,” said Stark, winking. “You heading that way, or does your godly form repel the idea of such weakness?”

“I suppose my godly form could stand a few hours rest,” said Loki grandly.

“How wise. Should I bow, or will a curtesy suffice?” Stark was clearly teasing him now.

Loki simply swept past him, looking at him contemptuously, ignoring the small smile that crept onto his face as he heard Stark’s laughter from behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki woke up early, with the sun beginning to surface over the city skyline, flooding his room with soft, orange light.

He made his way to the opulent bathroom, and after consulting JARVIS for assistance working the complicated bathing system, took a lengthy shower, marvelling at the advances in Midgardian technology since his last visit to the planet.

He brushed his hair, and braided half of it quickly, keeping it out of his face as he made his way back to his bedroom.

He eyed the armour sitting in the corner of the room with distaste, not wishing to don the cumbersome outfit again.

He began to explore the various cabinets in the room, and to his surprise, found them filled with new clothes, tags still attached, and sets of underwear still in their packets. Whoever was intending to live in these chambers clearly didn’t want to take these with them.

He pulled out a dark green shirt, and frowned slightly when he examined the fit. This was clearly a woman’s blouse. He didn’t know if this was Stark’s intention, but shifted his form anyway, adopting a lithe, feminine body.

Loki picked out a set of underwear, as well as a pair of slim fitting trousers, before dressing and making her way upstairs for breakfast.

She was relieved to see the kitchen free of both assassins, and only inhabited by the Captain, who was dressed in a simple black shirt and trousers, leaning against the counter, engrossed in a book of some description.

He looked up as Loki entered, and Loki was very amused to see the confusion cross his face.

“L-Loki?” The blond stuttered, raising his eyebrows as Loki sauntered towards him.

“Good morning,” Loki replied smoothly, standing close in front of him.

She leaned in, so their chests were touching. She noticed the Captain’s valiant effort to avoid looking down the front of her shirt, and smirked.

She reached behind him, and he went bright red, and cleared his throat. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl behind him, and looked down at the book he was reading. _Richard_ _III_.

“I knew him,” she mused. “Good guy. Not as bad as everyone said he was.”

The Captain nodded awkwardly, looking away as Loki smiled at him.

She eventually took pity on him, and moved over to sit at the table, laughing as he made a hasty retreat to the door.

She enjoyed her solitude for all of ten seconds before Romanoff came in.

“Loki, I know you’re there,” she said suspiciously. “What did you do to Steve? He seemed flustered when I passed him-”

She broke off when she caught sight of Loki, who gazed at her innocently. Romanoff cracked a smile.

“That’d do it,” she laughed, tilting her head to the side slightly, sizing up Loki, before shaking her head and walked back the way she came, muttering something under her breath.

Loki sat back in her chair, and flicked her fingers towards a knife on the opposite side of the table. It started to float, and Loki examined it carefully.

Sharp, but blunted on one side, and weighted badly for throwing. It would do as a last resort melee weapon, she decided.

“I hope you’re not planning to do anything with that,” Stark’s voice startled Loki, and the knife clattered to the table.

“I was simply examining it,” replied Loki haughtily, watching as Stark made his way over to the table, taking a seat opposite her.

“I like the new look,” Stark said appreciatively, looking Loki up and down, eyes lingering on her body. Loki shifted in her chair.

“I had to fit in the clothes somehow,” she said, almost defensively.

“The-oh. Sorry, I should have done something about that.”

“No worries,” Loki said simply. “I enjoy my female form just as much as my male form.”

“As do I,” said Stark in a manner Loki found unfamiliar, yet not displeasing.

“However I would not wish to remain in this form indefinitely, and I am fairly certain I wouldn’t look as stunning in these clothes while in my male form.”

Stark seemed to get the hint.

“Oh, I can take you shopping,” he said. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Stark,” Loki replied, finishing her apple and making the core disappear with a wave of her fingers.

“Please,” Stark leaned in, making eye contact that Loki didn’t find herself able or wanting to break. “Call me Tony.’”

Loki looked into his eyes a moment longer, before looking away and standing up.

“Very well.”

She made to move away, but Tony’s hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

“Can I ask you something?”

Loki didn’t answer, but raised an eyebrow in reply.

“What’s a frost giant?” He asked tentatively, anticipating a reaction from Loki.

Loki sighed. She had been expecting this.

“A frost giant is from Jotunheim. They are sworn enemies of Asgard. When I was a baby, Odin found me abandoned in the palace and adopted me, raising me to hate those who sired me,” Loki’s lip curled hatefully as she mentioned her adoptive father.

“That’s so many levels of messed up,” Tony looked shocked. “You went kinda blue when I saw you in-”

‘Yes,” Loki cut him off. “Frost giants are dark blue and have hideous red eyes.”

“That sounds fascinating,” Tony seemed interested, looking intensely at Loki. “Can I see?’

Loki sucked in a sharp breath. Tony didn’t seem to notice Loki’s discomfort. Did he even realise how personal that question was?

Loki looked at him, and a strange train of thought began to implant in his brain, that maybe he could show Tony, he seemed nice enough, and if Loki didn’t know better, seemed to actually care about her.

Loki saved that thought for another, more private time, and quickly regained her composure.

“Oh Tony,” she said, almost flirtatiously. “You’d have to buy me dinner first.”

She quickly left the room before her conflicting emotions began to show on her face, hating how the words had not come out contemptuously, as she’d intended, but almost hopeful. That would not do.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki awoke decidedly male. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a moment, going through his daily cursing-the fates, Odin, his existence. Whatever filled him with enough malice to stomach getting up again.

He sat up in bed and eyed the closet with some distaste. He was not in the mood for whatever skirts and dresses lay within the cupboards. Just as he was resigning himself to them for the day, he noticed a small pile of clothes on the chair opposite the door.

The note lying atop the clothes read; _Managed to persuade Spangles to donate some clothes. He’s freakishly tall like you. They’ll do for now. TS_

Loki was unsure as to how he felt about Tony entering his chambers without Loki being aware, or even conscious. He didn’t appreciate the vulnerability that this position served, but consoled himself with the fact that Tony hadn’t hurt him thus far, and didn’t seem to want to. He was even going out of his way to provide hospitality for him.

Loki began to inspect the garments. They consisted of simple shirts, with dark slacks, and some trousers made out of a dark, coarse material. He picked out a dark blue shirt and black trousers, and hit a problem when he put on the shirt. It would seem that the Captain’s torso was larger than his own.

This did not come as a surprise, but it certainly made life inconvenient for Loki. He stared at the material swamping his frame for a moment, before taking the two ends at the bottom, and tying them together. With a little adjustment, he was able to secure a better fit. It exposed his midriff a little, but that was a small price to pay for salvation from suffocation in the endless cotton.

Loki silently cursed to himself as he stepped inside an elevator occupied by Barton. He avoided eye contact, but this proved to be a fruitless endeavour as he was grabbed by the collar and pinned to the wall.

“You’re lucky you’re still walking around,” Barton growled, face inches from Loki’s. “You should be dead for what you did to me-what you said to Nat.”

“You’re right,” said Loki simply.

This caught Barton off guard.

“Do you have any idea what you did to me? How you messed with my mind-”

“How I manipulated your emotions. How I turned your thoughts against you. How I bent you to my will,” Loki spoke calmly. “But I suppose it wasn’t my will. I had had my thoughts poisoned, Barton, by someone much more dangerous than I, so if you want to harm me then so be it, but you might want to take it up with the Mad Titan himself,” Loki was breathing heavily, heart pounding in his ribcage as he felt emotion swell in his chest

Barton said nothing, glaring at Loki, although something changed in his expression.

“I am truly sorry for what I did to you,” continued Loki, quieter. “And the atrocities I made you commit. I promise that you’re no longer in any danger from me.”

Barton let go of him, and took a step back.

“I don’t like you,” he said brusquely. He shifted slightly and looked at the ceiling. “But I won’t hurt you. I’m not letting you off the hook, but I don’t want to fight you.”

Loki said nothing, and nodded simply.

The elevator doors opened, and Barton stepped out first, making his way to the kitchen without looking back. Loki followed slowly, not wanting to antagonise.

He wasn’t prepared for Tony laughing at him when he entered.

“It’s Britney!” He said gleefully, pointing at Loki’s torso. The inhabitants of the kitchen, which turned out to be everyone, looked at him.

Loki looked down, then at Tony.

“No,” he said slowly, as if talking to a child. “I’m Loki.”

This elicited a smirk from Romanoff.

“He’s talking about your top,” explained Banner. “He’s a bit socially stunted.”

Loki simply arched an eyebrow.

“It should come as no surprise to you that the Captain has a larger frame than I,” he said by way of explanation. “I had to do something about the surplus of fabric.”

Tony stopped giggling, and leaned on the counter, still smiling wickedly.

“Yeah about that,” Banner said nervously. “We can’t get you new clothes just yet.”

Loki narrowed his eyes.

“Why not?”

“SHIELD found out about you,” said Romanoff, hunched over a cup of coffee. Loki started, but Banner interjected quickly.

“But they’re letting you stay here,” he paused. “So long as-so long as you pass a psychiatric evaluation.”

“What is that and how much does it hurt?” Loki asked suspiciously.

“Don’t worry, it’s all pain free,” said Banner. Tony kicked him, receiving an indignant “ow!”, and turned to Loki.

“Physically pain free, anyway.”

“You’ll just be asked some questions, about your life, any potential traumas, your thoughts and emotions. Just so we can be sure there aren’t any leftovers from the mind control.”

“That’s a very diplomatic way of saying you’re going to make sure I’m not insane,” Loki said lowly, levelling a stare at Banner, who shifted uncomfortably.

“Play nice, Britney,” said Tony, “We’ve all had them.”

“And who will be privy to this evaluation?”

“Bruce and I will conduct it,” Tony replied. “Bruce because he’s smart, me because I’m your babysitter.”

Loki was about to interject when Banner said, “And SHIELD will see the results. But that’s it.”

Loki must have let his displeasure show on his face, because when Tony spoke again, his voice was gentler.

“Loki, we have to do this otherwise you’ll be taken into custody. Besides, Bruce is nice when he’s not angry. Trustworthy.”

Loki took this to mean “He won’t divulge details of traumas that Tony was well aware were present.”

Loki took a moment to process this information. He supposed it was in his best interest to undergo this evaluation, no matter how torturous the premise sounded.

“Very well,” said Loki, sighing resignedly. “Let’s get it over with then.”


	7. Chapter 7

Loki already hated it.

Banner hadn’t said a word yet, but being trapped in a room, sat on a chair with two self proclaimed geniuses inspecting him was always going to be an uncomfortable situation.

“So Loki,” Banner said, looking almost as uncomfortable as Loki felt. “Can we talk about your childhood?”

Tony laughed, but Loki ignored him, instead looking directly at Banner. He may not have any choice in this situation, but he was going to make this as unpleasant as possible for them.

“We can,” Loki’s voice was controlled, low, quiet. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Tony said, and Loki had to fight the urge to punch him because he already knew. He already knew, and he knows Loki knows that.

“Very well. I was born at an incredibly young age to the king of the frost giants, Laufey.”

“Sorry, frost giants?” Banner interrupted, seemingly alarmed.

“Yes.”

“But you look human.”

Loki sighed. He closed his eyes, and focused on dropping the glamour. He ignored the two other people in the room, and tried to think of anything but the fact that he was displaying the side of him that he had never willingly shown the light of day.

He opened his eyes, and saw Banner and Tony staring at him. Banner looked a mixture of apprehensive and amazed, but Tony...Tony was simply looking at him. Loki couldn’t read the expression on his face, and when he made eye contact with him, there was a look in Tony’s eyes that Loki had never seen before.

He quickly looked away and privately rejoiced that he was unable to blush in this form.

“It’s cold in here,” Banner said uncertainly, looking from Tony to Loki. “Is that you?”

“My natural body temperature is just above freezing,” Loki responded. Tony was still looking at him in a way that made Loki shiver.

“That’s handy,” said Tony, leaning forward. Loki found himself unable to break eye contact. “I’ll have to have you in my bed to help me cool down at night.”

Loki found himself shocked at the mortal’s forwardness. The last time he had been on Earth, people had approached relationships very differently.

“Tony,” reprimanded Banner. “This is neither the time nor place. Save it for later.”

Loki decided to move on quickly, adopting the glamour once more and concealing his Jotunn form.

“I was adopted by Odin after he almost destroyed the frost giants. I was raised as an Asgardian with no knowledge of my true heritage.”

“That seems...” Banner seemed unable to articulate his thoughts as he scribbled in his notebook, but Loki could see the shock on his face.

“I grew up in Thor’s shadow, as the weaker, smaller, more feminine and less worthy brother. My magic is frowned upon in Asgard.”

“That makes sense,” Banner mused, still writing. Loki narrowed his eyes at him. “Sorry,” Banner continued, looking up. “Just ignore me.”

“Thor was always going to be king, and working that out as we grew older caused friction between us,” Loki continued, looking down. “After his sabotaged coronation, Thor took me and his friends to Jotunheim, where he-” Loki paused to collect himself. “He tried to wipe out all the frost giants.”

This elicited an almost identical look of shock on both Tony and Banner’s faces.

“But you didn’t know you were one?” Banner asked.

“No,” replied Loki. “I found out a few days later, when a relic in the castle caused me to take my Jotunn form.”

“So your father actually raised you to hate the race you belonged to?” Banner sounded disgusted. “And you found out after Thor tried to kill the rest of them?”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“Loki?” Prompted Tony quietly.

“Yes,” said Loki shortly, composing himself quickly.

Tony and Banner exchanged a look.

“Odin fell into a coma, and, with Thor having been banished to Earth, I took the throne. I tried to end the war that my brother started. I tried to rule fairly over a people who shunned me,” Loki explained quickly, rushing his words as he stared at the floor.

“I devised a plot to kill the king of the frost giants, and put an end to the conflict caused by my idiotic brother. It may not have been moral, but it was for the good of Asgard. It was for us,” Loki’s voice wavered slightly at the end, but he ignored it.

“Then what happened?” Banner asked, leaning forward slightly.

“Thor and I fought. I fell off the bifrost into the void.”

Tony cleared his throat.

“Fell?” He questioned, fixing Loki with a stare. Loki glared at him, and Bruce, sensing the tension, picked up on what Tony was implying.

“Loki? Was your fall intentional?”

Loki didn’t answer.

“Loki, I think I should remind you that honesty is the best approach to these evaluations, and that we’re not gonna judge you,” Banner said gently.

Loki was still looking at Tony.

“Do you want Tony to leave? Is he being a pain?”

Loki pulled himself out of his reverie.

“I meant to fall,” he said shortly.

“Okay,” Banner seemed relieved that Loki was talking again. Tony didn’t say anything, but looked at Loki in a way that made him feel as if he had no secrets to hide from him.

“So what happened after your fall?” Banner was seemingly ignoring the tension between Loki and Tony, and was steadfastly ploughing through the evaluation.

“I fell for ages. I don’t know how long. I was eventually found by one they call the Mad Titan. Thanos. He was in possession of the mind stone at the time.” Loki took a deep breath before continuing. “He broke me.”

“What does that mean Loki?” Banner’s voice was laced with concern.

Loki stared at a point past Tony’s head, grasping onto his emotions. The lamp on the table next to him began to levitate.

“He bent me to his will. Tortured me. Showed me things inside my mind,” Loki’s voice was quiet. “Hurt me.”

Loki tried to push it away, to push away the memories. He blocked his mind, like he had done so many times before, but it never worked. Even just the memory of him was overpowering, pushing its way into his mind, consuming him.

“Loki!”

He didn’t know how he ended up on the floor. He knelt on the carpet, barely noticing Tony and Banner as the furniture started to float.

Tony was on the floor in front of him. Loki grabbed his hand, desperate for something to ground him, to pull him into the present, away from those images, those voices, those emotions. He used his other hand to hold on to the fabric of Tony’s shirt, clutching desperately at the soft material, staring into Tony’s eyes as he tried to hold on to some semblance of control.

He felt crowded. Banner stood back, not knowing what to do. Loki looked around wildly. He had to leave.

The furniture fell to the floor with a loud crash, and Loki let go of Tony, let go of his control, and ran.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack, self harm

Loki didn’t know where he was running to, didn’t know where to go. He found himself in the kitchen, found himself being stared at by three pairs of hostile eyes.

“Loki?” The Captain stepped forward, hands out defensively.

Loki ignored him, rushing past him. He had to get to somewhere where he could breathe.

He headed for the balcony. The door opened with a flick of his wrist, and with another wave of his fingers, the knife he had been admiring the other day floated across the room into his hand.

He was aware of alarmed shouts from the other occupants of the room, but payed them no heed.

He ran to the balcony, and sank to his knees as he stared out into the sky.

He heard footsteps behind him, and clutched the knife, feeling the blade dig into his palm.

“You’re holding the knife the wrong way,” came Tony’s deadpan voice, and Loki couldn’t help himself because _of all the idiotic things to say_ and he started laughing maniacally, and then suddenly he was sobbing and he couldn’t stop.

Tony came to crouch down next to him. Loki gripped the knife harder, feeling blood run across his palm.

“Hey,” Tony’s voice was quiet, and he was using a tone he’d used a lot around Loki this afternoon, and Loki didn’t know how to feel about that. “Can you hand me the knife?”

Loki’s hand shook, before he let go, allowing the knife to clatter to the floor. Tony gently moved it away from him.

Loki brought his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them, hands clutching his hair as he cried, reliving the memories he had worked to repress. All that mental training was useless now, everyone in the tower had seen him, Tony had seen him, and allowing Tony to see him like this was awful.

He felt Tony’s hand on his back, making circular motions, and he wanted to laugh, because he wasn’t a child, so why treat him as one? Although, he supposed, he was on the floor, crying in front of five fully grown humans, and what could possibly be more childish than that.

He didn’t stop though.

He felt the blood from his hand trickle down the side of his face, and lifted his head shakily to stare at the gash on his palm, his body still racked with silent sobs.

He traced the cut with his finger absent-mindedly, focusing on the sharp pain.

Tony reached out gently, holding Loki’s uninjured hand in his own. Loki raised his gaze to meet Tony’s warm brown eyes, full of pity and compassion and concern, and at any other moment, Loki would have hated to see those things in Tony’s eyes, but now he didn’t care, he simply sat and stared, allowing his breathing to return to normal.

“You wanna stand up?” Tony’s voice was soft, and Loki nodded pathetically. He could hear the voice in his head screaming at him that he was weak, but Loki didn’t care.

Tony’s arms were strong around him as they helped him to his feet. Loki was shaking, and swayed slightly as he stood up, but Tony was there for him to lean on. Loki stared into the distance, fighting his mind to stave off the memories, not paying attention to where Tony was taking him. He didn’t care. He knew Tony would look after him. He didn’t know how he knew that, but he did.

Loki was barely aware of the other avengers as they passed them, and he simply zoned out until he reached his chambers. He moved to sit down on his bed before he fell down, but otherwise didn’t move, simply staring at nothing. How could he control his body when he couldn’t control his own mind.

“Loki?” Loki turned to look at Tony once more. “Do you want to go to sleep?”

Sleep. That sounded nice. Loki wanted to sleep, but he was scared of what the night would bring him. He was scared of the visions he’d see, the memories that would come rushing back again.

But he was so tired.

Instead of answering, Loki lolled to the side slightly with exhaustion, and Tony caught him, holding him upright.

“Do you want me to help you?”

Loki didn’t answer, simply clutched at the material in Tony’s shirt weakly, silently begging him to stay.

Loki drifted in and out of consciousness, and he could vaguely feel himself being undressed, and helped into warm bedclothes.

He hated himself for it, but when Tony made to move away, Loki held onto him pitifully. He wanted someone with him, so he wouldn’t have to face the nightmare alone.

Tony understood somehow, and sat on the edge of the bed next to Loki, holding his hand, stroking his hair as Loki fell into a heavy sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Tony could feel everyone’s eyes on him as he entered the kitchen. He nonchalantly moved over to the bar and took several long swigs from a bottle of whiskey, before it was removed from his hand by an irate Natasha.

“Tony.”

Tony looked everywhere expect her, avoiding her steely gaze.

“What the hell was that?” Demanded Steve, and Tony could tell he was rattled when Steve didn’t even look remotely guilty for the cursing.

“Single malt whiskey. Quite expensive. Helps to take the edge off...everything,” Tony responded. He could tell he was fooling exactly no one.

“Tony, you need to tell us what’s going on,” Natasha said reprovingly, and it just wasn’t fair when she used those eyes, the ones that held so much tenderness but promised a world of pain if you upset them.

“I can’t. Patient confidentiality,” Tony said, looking to Bruce for backup, who looked as if he’d much rather be somewhere else.

“I, uh,” Bruce rubbed his neck guiltily. “I’m not actually qualified, so I never, uh, took the oath.”

Tony glared at him.

“Right, so you can tell us exactly what the fuck just happened,” Clint seemed rattled.

Tony looked from Clint’s aggressive demeanour, to Steve’s disapproval and confusion, to Nat’s dangerous you-better-not-bullshit-me-right-now face, to Bruce’s guilty, traitorous expression. He sighed.

“He was under the control of some alien guy called Thanos. He’s known as the mad titan,” Tony took the bottle of whiskey back from Natasha and drank. This wasn’t something he could do sober.

“He tortured Loki. From what Loki told us, it was horrific,” Bruce stepped in when it became clear that Tony was preoccupied with his bottle.

Tony laughed humourlessly.

“Of course, that’s all after he was kidnapped and turned against his own race,” he rambled.

“Tony-“ Bruce tried to interject, but Clint interjected.

“What do you mean? He’s the same as Thor right?”

“No,” Tony laughed, well aware he was revealing too much. “He’s some weird blue avatar thing-”

“Frost giant,” Bruce corrected, looking more uncomfortable by the minute.

“Yes, that,” Tony waved his arms indulgently, drinking some more from the bottle. “Can you believe they raised him to be racist towards his own species? Like how fucked up is that? No wonder he’s batshit crazy.”

Steve frowned at this, but made no move to stop Tony, who had almost finished the bottle at this point.

“Yeah and then he tried to kill himself or whatever,” Tony could feel himself losing control. “And then this Thanos guy tortured him-I think he had acid dripped on him-”

“Why would you think that?” Natasha looked at him seriously, and Tony couldn’t bring himself to lie at this point.

“Before I captured him I used his glow stick on him and saw a load of fucked up memories. He had chemical burns on his face, and this big weird purple guy was there-”

Tony was suddenly aware of a shift in the mood of the room. Clint had a look of alarm on his face, Natasha was cautiously defensive, Steve was concerned, and Bruce looked the most guilty Tony had ever seen him. They were all looking at something behind him, and he trailed off his rambling.

“Oh, by all means,” came a voice that made Tony’s blood freeze. “Do continue, Tony.’” The emphasis on his name sent a shot of guilt through his heart, and he slowly turned to see Loki leaning against the doorframe, staring coldly at him.

“Loki I-”

“Go on.” Loki stepped towards him, not breaking the steely eye contact he held with Tony. “Tell them how insane I am.”

Tony swallowed. He felt the temperature in the room drop, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clint and Natasha slowly move towards their weapons.

“You won’t need those,” Loki addressed them without looking away from Tony. “I’m not going to attack any of you. Tony was just telling you a story, weren’t you?” He smiled coldly at Tony.

“Go on then. Tell them about my father. My heritage. My reign over Asgard, my betrayal, my suicide, my torture,” Loki’s voice was controlled. He was now face to face with Tony, who looked down, desperate to avoid those harsh eyes.

“I’m sorry, Loki,” Tony tried, placing a calming hand on Loki’s arm. Loki looked at it, before slowly moving to grab it with his other hand and _holy shit he was strong that hurt_.

Loki glared at Tony once more before smiling wolfishly, eyes remaining unchanged.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he looked around the room, focusing on Bruce, who looked paralysed with fear. “Isn’t that right, doctor?”

Loki glared at them all once more, still smiling, before moving towards the door and closing it softly behind him.

Tony sighed with relief and pulled the bottle towards him.

* * *

Loki returned to his room seething with anger and hurt. He flicked his wrist, and the chair in the corner rose. He was about to hurl it at the wall when the stack of books on his nightstand caught his eye. _The Little Mermaid. Fahrenheit 451. Carrie._ Loki lowered the chair to the floor and smiled.

He lifted his face to the ceiling and addressed JARVIS.

“Spirit, I require your assistance.”


	10. Chapter 10

“We fucked up.” Tony was slumped over a table in his lab, fiddling absently with a scrap of metal. “We really fucked up Bruce.”

“I know,” replied Bruce, who was leaning against one of the suits, looking haggard. “I know Tony, but what could we do? As far as the others are concerned, we’re harbouring an intergalactic terrorist.”

“He’s not!” Tony rushed to say. “He was under the same control as Clint was-”

“But they don’t know that, Tony. You can’t blame them for being wary. If we want to keep Loki here, then everyone staying here has a right to know what’s going on. It’s safer for Loki that way as well, now Clint understands.”

Tony sighed.

“I know. But we still fucked up. We should have done it differently. We should have talked to Loki first.”

“So how do we fix this?” Bruce said, massaging his temples. “Because right now, we have an extremely pissed off god of mischief on our hands.”

“I don’t know,” Tony sighed again. “Could you go and see the others? Tell Steve not to do his worried mother thing with Loki or whatever.” He slumped down even further, hiding his face in his arms.

“Yeah,” Bruce touched his shoulder gently. “Don’t beat yourself up too much. We fucked up, but we can fix it.”

Tony didn’t reply, and once Bruce had left, he threw a spanner across the room. He cursed loudly.

“Sir, I have something important to tell you,” came JARVIS’s voice.

* * *

“Okay, family meeting” Tony announced loudly, walking briskly into the common room. “Where’s Bruce?” He asked the three soldiers.

“He’s in his lab,” replied Natasha. “He seemed to be beating himself up a lot. We should leave him alone.”

“Okay,” said Tony, sighing.

“So what’s this about?” Steve leaned forwards, concerned.

“I think Rudolph is planning revenge.”

Clint stood up, alarmed. Tony help out a hand to placate him.

“Nothing awful, apparently, just making himself a pain. JARVIS told me Loki had enlisted his help in planning his tricks. Avoid the kitchen and any sinks.”

Steve furrowed his brow.

“Shouldn’t we do something about this? I mean, he’s a guest here, and he’s planning revenge.”

“Look, Ken,” Tony said, slightly irate. “Bruce and I fucked up. We broke a promise, and Loki is very sensitive about all this stuff,” Natasha raised an eyebrow at the familiarity in Tony’ words. “We just need to let it blow over while he has a little sulk. He’ll come around even-OW!” Tony broke off at a sudden sharp pain in his feet. He stumbled over to a chair and sat down.

“You okay Tony?” Natasha asked, calm voice thinly veiling concern.

‘Yeah,” Tony said. “I must have pulled a muscle. Just be alert today. I’ll deal with Loki tomorrow.”

* * *

Tony was interrupted in his lab by a scream coming from a floor above him. He hurried into the common room, wincing at the pain in his feet, at the same time Natasha stormed in, hastily wrapped in a white robe that was quickly being stained by the blood that covered her body.

“Holy shit,” yelped Clint, jumping up and running to her, only to be stopped by a venomous glare from Nat.

“It’s not mine,” she growled. Tony stared at her in shock.

“I tried to go for a shower,” she explained angrily. “When I turned it on and I was suddenly covered in warm thick blood. I don’t know where the fuck he got it from but you need to deal with it.”

She angrily poked Tony in the chest, leaving a small smear of blood on his shirt, before whirling around and storming out, a trail of bloody footsteps following her.

Tony put his face in his hands. The pain in his feet became overwhelming, and he sat down quickly, eyes alighting on the collection of books Loki had left behind on the table. The pain had persisted all day, but it was nothing Tony had ever felt before. It was sharp, cutting, almost like...

Tony read the title of one of the books.

_The_ _Little_ _Mermaid_

“Son of a bitch,” Tony muttered, startling Clint, and he gathered up the books and went to find Bruce, wincing as he ran.

* * *

“I think I’ve created a monster,” Tony said by way of greeting as he entered Bruce’s lab.

“What?” Bruce stared at him bemusedly.

“He’s got ideas from the books I gave him access to,” Tony said, dumping the books in front of Bruce.

“He dumped a load of blood on Nat,” Tony explained, holding up the copy of _Carrie_. “And he’s cursed me to feel like I’m walking on knives,” he continued, presenting the copy of _The_ _Little_ _Mermaid_.

Bruce sighed.

“He’s clever.”

“I know,” said Tony. He held out the copy of _Fahrenheit_ _451_. “I’m yet to figure out this one.”

“Oh that’s me,” said Bruce, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Every time I try to pick up a book it goes up in flames. I’ve lost two encyclopaedias and my copy of Twilight.”

Tony stared at him.

“I’m going to ignore the fact you ever said that,” he said incredulously. Bruce simply stared back defiantly.

“JARVIS told me that Loki had been conspiring with him to mess with the kitchen and sinks though...”

Bruce stared at him in shock.

“And you believed that? Tony, that’s such an obvious red herring! Loki’s smarter than that.”

Tony groaned.

“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered. “He must have wanted us to figure it out though, or he wouldn’t have left his books out.”

“He’s messing with us,” said Bruce.

“You’re right. I’m going to go talk to him. If I’m not back in an hour call the FBI and draw up a coroner’s report.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tony sat on Loki’s bed to wait. While he personally would have no qualms with bursting in on _wet_ _naked_ Loki in the shower, he decided that he did actually want to live past today, and that pissing Loki off even further was not the way to go.

The rooms were exactly the same as Tony had designed them for Pepper. He almost wished they had been Loki-fied somewhat, so he didn’t have to be reminded of her every time he had to deal with Loki.

Almost exactly the same anyway. There was one key difference in the form of multiple blades resting on every surface in the room. That was a little bit concerning. Tony was seventy percent sure he hadn’t bought any blades recently, especially not highly polished, wickedly sharp blades decorated with all manner of precious gems.

Tony gingerly picked one up to admire. It really was beautiful. It caught the light, and the reflections of the soft glowing orbs conjured by Loki danced along the blade.

“What are you doing with that?” Came the low, dangerous voice from within the bathroom, startling Tony, who hadn’t realised that the shower had stopped, and quickly replaced the knife.

A moment later, Loki stepped into the bedroom with a towel slung low around his hips, wet hair clinging to his neck, creating trails of water that ran down over Loki’s slim, lithe chest that Tony now seemed unable to look away from.

Loki raised an eyebrow, and Tony shook his head, remembering himself.

“Loki, I’m really sorry,” he said, standing up, wincing slightly at the pain in his feet. “I was wrong, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, but all I want to do is to make it better.”

Loki stared at him for a moment.

“Why bother apologising?” He asked, eyeing Tony suspiciously. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing!” Tony hurried to say. “I don’t want anything from you, I just want to make it better. I want to make it up to you.”

Loki simply looked confused.

“Does that not make sense?” Tony asked him.

“I took revenge on you,” Loki explained slowly. “Why are you apologising? Most people would be fed up with me at this point.”

“Yeah, well I’m not most people am I?” Tony stepped closer to Loki, placing a reassuring hand on his _bare_ , _surprisingly_ _muscular_ arm. “I wronged you. I broke my promise and I should never have done that. Besides, the pranks were pretty clever.”

Loki beamed at the compliment, before schooling his expression to a subdued smirk.

“Was there anything else you needed?” Loki asked, almost defensively. “Or are you just here to waste my time?”

Tony took this to mean his apology had been accepted, and sighed in relief when the pain in the soles of his feet subdued.

“Waste your time?” Tony teased. “What exactly are you doing in here? Besides collecting decorative knives?”

Loki looked around, before muttering a quick “sorry”, and grabbed a handful of knives, throwing them over his shoulder.

Tony ducked, but they disappeared in a flash of green. Loki was throwing the rest of them in a similar way, before a horrible thought struck Tony.

“Loki...” he began, wetting his lips nervously. “You’re-you’re not using them to hurt yourself, are you?”

Loki turned to look at him.

“Because if you are, I’m not judging you, but we can find you healthier coping strategies or whatever, I can get a doctor or something-” Tony knew he was rambling, but couldn’t stop.

“Tony,” Loki broke in. “You don’t have to worry. I’m fine.” He smiled though, eyes glistening slightly.

Tony smiled back. He noticed a strand of dark hair had fallen over Loki’s face. He reached up to tuck it behind Loki’s ear, trying to ignore the fact that he was still in close proximity to Loki’s towel clad form and failing miserably.

Loki’s eyes followed Tony’s hand movement, and Tony was pretty sure that neither of them were breathing.

Tony broke the moment first, stepping back.

“Good talk,” he muttered, looking away. Loki simply continued watching him.

“Have you ever had a pet?” Tony asked suddenly. Loki looked surprised at the sharp segue.

“What? No.”

Tony nodded.

“Just asking.”

He moved towards the door, and was almost out when another thought struck him.

“If you knew I was here before you came out of the bathroom, why didn’t you put some clothes on?”

Loki smiled, and moved slowly over to where Tony was standing, using controlled, deliberate movements that Tony had no choice but to admire how they manipulated Loki’s body.

Loki stood very close to him, and Tony focused on his breathing, and not the dip in Loki’s hips that led underneath the towel.

Loki winked and shut the door in Tony’s face.


	12. Chapter 12

“Stark!”

Tony turned to Bruce, panicked.

“Tell me that’s not Thor.”

“Brother?”

“Yeah, that’s Thor,” replied Bruce, looking as apprehensive as Tony felt.

“Shit,” Tony started hurrying towards the sound of a bull in a china shop.

He got to his balcony in time to see Thor drop a bottle of expensive liquor on the floor.

“Thor!” He exclaimed, slightly frantically. His eyes alighted on what used to be his balcony.

“What the hell happened?”

“My father-”

“Look at my balcony!” Tony had walked over to the charred pattern seared into the stone floor.

“That’s the Bifrost,” explained Thor. “It’s an inter dimensional pathway between-”

“It’s ruined my balcony!” Tony interrupted, slightly over dramatically.

Thor looked rather confused.

“I apologise. Where is my brother?”

Tony sighed, making a mental note to research the Bifrost with Bruce.

“He’s in his room,” Tony said, rubbing his hand over his face.

“No she’s not,” said Loki, appearing in the doorway.

“Loki!” Thor cried, scandalised. “Put some clothes on! What must the Midgardians think of you?”

“It’s Midgardian fashion, Thor,” Loki replied, almost petulantly. “Tony likes it, don’t you, darling?”

Tony swallowed. He was acutely aware that Thor was staring at him, and that he probably shouldn’t be ogling Loki as obviously as he was but he couldn’t help himself. The clingy black dress seemed to sparkle with tiny lights scattered across the fabric, mimicking stars and constellations. There was a surplus of pale skin on show, and since when had Loki called him darling?

Loki smirked mischievously, and Tony really started to regret getting drunk and divulging Loki’s secrets, because obviously the revenge wasn’t over, but this time Loki had managed to figure out Tony’s weakness towards beautiful people.

Tony cleared his throat.

“You look lovely,” he looked away. “Don’t worry Thor, plenty of women here on Earth wear dresses like that. We don’t all parade around in leathers and furs and the bodies of our enemies or whatever.”

Loki laughed, and Thor looked confused. Tony moved on before Thor could decide whether he was offended or not.

“What brings you here, Thor?”

“I need to speak with you, Loki,” Thor rumbled sternly.

“Go for it,” Loki responded playfully.

“In private.”

“Aww come on Thor,” Loki said, clicking his fingers. “What do you need?”

Tony looked down at his body, which now mirrored Loki’s, dress and all. He frowned for a moment, before grinning.

He raised his hand to his-Loki’s?- chest, and was able to grope to his heart’s content for all of five seconds, before he felt a slap across his face, and looked up to see Loki glaring at him from across the room.

Tony rubbed his face sulkily, noting that he didn’t even need to be close to Loki to get a slap, which didn’t seem fair. His body changed back to normal, which was a shame, he thought.

“Cease your games, Loki,” Thor said, undeterred by Loki’s mischief. “This is important.”

“Is it now?” Loki’s eyes glinted as she grinned from ear to ear. “By all means, share it. I can’t believe you’re still keeping it to yourself. It’s rather selfish you know. I’m sure I’m just as entitled to know as-”

“You are very much in a gaming mood for someone so recently disowned by my father!” Thor roared, frustrated.

The smile fell off Loki’s face.

“You’re forbidden from returning home,” Thor continued, slightly gentler. “Odin will not even recognise you as his child anymore.”

Loki didn’t say anything, eyes moving frantically over Thor’s face. Tony felt rooted to the spot.

“I’m sorry, brother,” Thor tried to touch Loki’s shoulder, but she moved out of the way.

“I’m not your brother,” she said quietly.

“I apologise, sister,” Thor amended.

“I’m not your sister!” Loki shouted, face twisted in anger. “I’m nothing to you! I never was. I bet you’re finally glad to be rid of me hm?”

Thor looked shocked.

“Loki, no, I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Loki hissed, furiously wiping away the tears that fell down her cheeks. “Just go back to Agard where all the perfect people love their perfect prince, and you can all forget about the ugly, feminine, frost giant runt you would display as some sick chess piece.”

“Loki!” Thor cried, trying in vain to get her to listen.

“Go away Thor,” Loki said, slipping around him and running to the door, choking back a sob as she disappeared.

Thor turned to Tony, who had never felt more useless.

“I’ll go and see her,” Tony said. Thor nodded silently, looking rather shell-shocked.

“Hey,” said Tony gently, resting a hand on Thor’s arm. “Why don’t you go and see Bruce in the lab? Fill him in on the situation and have him show you something interesting.”

Thor nodded, and walked off without a word.

Tony took a deep breath, and made his way to Loki’s rooms.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki was kneeling on the floor in her room. Her hands were pressed over her eyes and her body was shaking. The glowing balls of light that Loki used to illuminate her rooms were no longer a soft green in colour, but a dull blue.

“Loki,” Tony said, rather helplessly. Loki simply ignored him.

Tony moved to sit next to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. She stiffened slightly, before leaning into the touch, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck.

A second later she pushed him away angrily, jumping to her feet and stumbling backwards. Tony held out his hands defensively, moving slowly.

Loki’s form flickered slightly, jumping from her female body to her male one, to her Jotunn form. She was openly sobbing, and the lights pulsed in time with her hastened breathing.

Tony gently reached for her hand, and her appearance flickered once, twice more, before stabilising as she allowed herself to be pulled into a hug. He gently stroked her hair away from her face, and suddenly her lips were on his and she was kissing him, and Tony kissed back, slowly and gently. She was still crying softly, and her tears mingled in with the kiss.

Loki’s hands gripped the back of his shirt as she leaned against him, and he held her close, one hand buried in her soft, dark hair, one hand wrapped around her waist, holding her up.

She grabbed his hands and moved them, one to her chest, his hand slipping beneath the sheer fabric, one she moved up the inside of her thigh, inching beneath the short hemline. She wasn’t wearing underwear.

Tony pulled away.

“This isn’t right,” he said, moving his hands to cup Loki’s face.

She stared at him, hurt and anger crossing her face. The lights glowed red.

“You are gorgeous,” he hurried to say, before some horrible fate could befall him. “And I would dearly love to continue this, but I’m not doing this with you in this state.”

He stroked her hair as she relaxed and leaned against him, face pressed against his neck.

“I just want...” she mumbled. “I need...”

“I know,” Tony said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. Thor came to see you. And you’ve always got your bestie, Clint.”

Loki giggled wetly, tears soaking Tony’s shirt.

“You’re an idiot.”

“The very stupidest,” Tony smiled, petting her hair absently. “You know Odin’s a dick right?”

“I don’t shed tears for him,” Loki said bitterly. “I accepted his distaste for me long ago. I rather expected him to take action against me once he knew I was alive. I just...” she sat down on her bed, Tony following.

“I’ll never see my mother again,” Loki explained, and Tony noticed with a pang that Loki still referred to Frigga as her mother.

Tony said nothing, and pulled her into his lap, arms circling her protectively. She leaned into his embrace.

There came an almighty crash from somewhere above them. Loki started slightly, but Tony just sighed.

“Thor’s in Bruce’s lab, which can only ever go one way. I should go and make sure they’re still alive. Are you okay?”

Loki wiped her face quickly.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

Tony kissed her forehead.

“I’ll give you some space okay? You can come and see me if you want me.”

Loki nodded.

Tony made his way upstairs, mentally running through every worst case scenario, which ranged from poisonous chemicals being leaked into the vents, which would inevitably lead to Clint serving as their coal mine canary to the Hulk being unleashed in his newly renovated tower. He really didn’t fancy having to redecorate again, and the paperwork, should someone die, would be immense.

However, he would never have been able to predict the sight that greeted him in Bruce’s lab.

Thor was between Bruce’s legs, who was sat on the workbench, passionately kissing the god.

Tony stared for a good thirty seconds, before clearing his throat.

The two jumped away from each other. Bruce stuttered and blushed.

“Tony, I-I-”

“You what Bruce?” Tony teased. “You fancy trying to explain this?”

“Well I-we-I just-” Bruce seemed unable to formulate words but Thor simply glared at Tony.

“Say nothing, Man of Iron,” he rumbled. “I see how you eye Loki.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Let’s go out,” Tony said, watching Loki examine the fridge curiously.

“Where?” Loki asked absently.

“Out. I’ll get you some clothes, we can get coffee or something.”

Loki popped a couple of ice cubes in his mouth, watching Tony curiously.

“Maybe it would do you good to get out,” Tony mused, as Loki resumed his inspection of the fridge.

“What’s this?” Loki asked, holding up a small device.

“Oh, that’s Clint’s hearing aid. He takes it out whenever he’s losing an argument with someone.”

Loki stared bemusedly.

“He can’t hear?” He asked. “But he has both ears.”

Tony rolled his eyes.

“We don’t all have godly physiques, darling.”

Loki looked at him sharply, before replacing the hearing aid where he found it.

“Fine. I’ll take you up on your offer,” Loki said.

“Maybe you can go as Lady Loki,” Tony said. “Just in case someone recognises you as the person who tried to take over the world.”

Loki glared at him, before swishing out of the room.

“Meet me here in five minutes or I just might try again.”

* * *

Loki’s heels tapped against the concrete as she walked arm in arm with Tony, glaring behind her sunglasses at the girls passing who would bat their eyelashes at her Tony, trailing manicured fingers over his arms.

Tony stopped in his tracks. Loki looked over to see him crouched down in front of a small boy wearing a replica of Tony’s helmet.

“Is this one of yours?” She asked, looking the boy over.

Tony chuckled.

“No no. Peter here is just a fan, aren’t you buddy?”

The boy looked up at Loki. She looked down at him, and wiggled her fingers, flicking multicoloured sparks from her fingertips.

“That’s awesome ma’am!” The boy seemed star struck.

“She is, isn’t she?” Tony winked at Loki, who looked away, trying and failing to hide the blush and smile that came over her face. This was ridiculous. She was acting like a fool, and in front of this child no less!

“I think you had better return to your caregiver now, young one,” Loki said simply, eyes alighting on a slightly frantic couple.

“Oh no!” The boy said, turning to run to the couple. “Bye Mr Stark sir! Bye ma’am! Hey Aunt May, look it’s Iron Man...”

Tony turned to look at Loki.

“You’re soft,” he stated gleefully.

Loki simply huffed, and pulled Tony along the pavement.

* * *

“You know,” Tony said, taking a sip from his coffee as he sat across from Loki in the small café. “I know you think I’m stupid, but I do actually notice how you act when I compliment you.”

Loki frowned.

“I don’t know what you mean,” She sniffed, looking away haughtily.

“You do,” Tony smiled mischievously. “You go all shy and blushy.”

Loki glared at him, wickedly sharp stiletto tapping impatiently on the floor.

“You’re a lot more forward than I remember people being last time I was here,” Loki relented.

Tony raised an eyebrow.

“No one flirted the way you do, not even Oscar. Not in public anyway. Once the doors were closed though...” Loki trailed off, smiling into her iced coffee.

“Oscar?” Tony asked.

“Wilde. Playwright. Amazing in bed.”

Tony blinked.

“You banged Oscar Wilde?”

Loki tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“Yes.”

“Do you regularly take lovers from Earth?”

Loki considered this.

“Every hundred years or so I suppose. There was King James of England, Victor Hugo in Paris-he was just before Oscar- Tsarina Alexandra-”

“Okay, wow,” Tony interjected. “I’m impressed. I’d have thought you’d be some sort of Casanova, not a shy, giggly little thing.”

“Yes, well I don’t know if you’ve realised, but taking lovers back then was very different to now. It was either weeks of courtship or clandestine relations.”

“I see,” said Tony, smiling innocently at him. “So if I were to say that all I want right now is to rip that ridiculously short green dress off you and pin you to this table...what would you say?”

Loki stared at him, wide eyed, a blush creeping down his neck. She picked up an ice cube from her cup and popped it in her mouth. She fiddled with her hair slightly and looked down, before looking up at Tony through dark lashes. She uncrossed and recrossed her legs, hemline riding up her thighs, before replying in a low sultry voice.

“I think we should find a more private spot, don’t you?”


	15. Chapter 15

There was an almighty clatter as Tony swept whatever had been on the dining table onto the floor, hoisting Loki up onto the surface, stepping between her legs as he kissed her passionately.

She draped her arms around his neck as he wound his arms round her waist.

Loki relaxed, focusing only on the man in front of her, as his hands roamed her body, winding in her hair, pushing her dress up.

She moved her hands to the front of his shirt, starting to undo the buttons, fingers trailing over the muscles, stroking the blue light in his sternum.

She tensed slightly as Tony’s hand moved to her chest, pulling her dress down. He pulled back to look at her, before smiling mischievously.

“I know it’s not exactly gentlemanly courtship, but may I show you to my bedroom?” He asked, stepping back and holding out a hand for Loki to take.

Loki looked at him haughtily.

“You may,” she said imperiously, taking his hand and allowing him to help her down from the table.

Tony pulled her towards the elevator, and she followed willingly, almost tripping as she tried to rearrange her dress to make herself appear presentable.

“I wouldn’t bother,” Tony said over his shoulder. “It’s coming off once the door’s closed.”

Loki tutted, ignoring the thrill that Tony’s words gave her, as he pulled her into the elevator. Steve Rogers, already stood there, goggled at the two of them, as Loki wound her arms around Tony, hand creeping into his back pocket.

“Problem, Captain?” Loki asked, smiling sweetly.

Steve looked her up and down.

“Not at all,” he said, visibly uncomfortable, eyeing Loki nervously.

Loki’s smile faded as Steve stepped away from her. She glared at him.

“Scared of me, Captain?” Loki snapped, tossing her hair back from her face contemptuously. “One would have thought that a big strong man like you could take little old me.”

Steve looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“I’d certainly love for you to take me sometimes,” Loki purred, stroking Steve’s bicep.

Tony pinched Loki’s side. Steve blushed deeply and coughed, shuffling uncomfortably. He made a swift exit from the elevator, and Loki frowned after him.

“I’m sick of him acting like I’m some monster,” Loki murmured, but Tony wasn’t listening.

Loki allowed himself to be pressed up against the wall, hands winding in Tony’s hair as he kissed her neck.

“Can’t wait to fuck that bitchy diva bullshit out of you,” Tony said in Loki’s ear. Loki felt a thrill of anticipation course through her, and she was quickly distracted.

Tony pulled her into his room and pinned her onto the bed, quickly relieving her of her dress.

“You know,” Tony said, hands exploring Loki’s body. “I thought you’d be more bossy in bed. Not that I’m complaining, of course, I rather like this needy side to you.”

“I prefer to save that for my other form,” Loki explained breathlessly. “Most men prefer to take what they want from me when I’m female.”

“Well I certainly enjoy it,” Tony muttered, resuming his exploration of Loki’s body.

* * *

Loki awoke with a start. He was naked, he realised, and not in his own bed. He looked over at Tony’s sleeping form and smiled. He stretched out, remembering the night before with a smirk.

He suddenly shot up in bed.

He was male. And naked. And in a bed with the man he definitely, absolutely, certainly wasn’t in love with, who just had just so happened to announce his preference for his female body.

He couldn’t let Tony see him like this. He was acutely aware that the slip of a dress he had worn yesterday would not become the form he was currently adopting.

He tried to focus his magic, but panic and residual sleep scattered his brain and he struggled to concentrate.

Tony stirred, and Loki tried harder, desperately trying to fix his appearance before Tony could see him like this.

He squeezed his eyes shut and focused. Changing form was always harder when he was fighting his gender identity. He felt the bed shift next to him, and the final surge of panic channeled his magic, and he finally felt his body change.

He opened his eyes, and smiled at Tony.

“Morning, babe,” Tony said, leaning over to kiss Loki softly.

Loki sighed happily as Tony pulled away and tucked Loki’s hair behind his ear.

“I should probably find my way back to my own room,” Loki said.

Tony smiled, watching Loki as he stood up, shimmying his dress on. He picked up his underwear and paused at the doorway. He turned back towards Tony, who was lying naked, sprawled out on his bed. Loki rolled his eyes and blew a kiss, before hurrying towards the elevator.

He had almost reached his floor when Romanoff stepped into the elevator. She looked at him, looked down at the underwear bundled in his hands, looked back up and smirked.

Loki looked away.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Romanoff winked conspirationally. Loki smiled and blushed slightly, before hurrying out of the elevator towards his room.


	16. Chapter 16

Loki fell onto his bed with a sigh, body changing to fit his current gender. He had forgotten how exhausting maintaining the opposite gender was when his mind was so firmly male.

However, Tony liked his female form, and Loki was not in the habit of ruining enjoyable situations because of some pesky identity emotions. He preferred to use his identity as a strategic tool, and it had worked for him so far.

He would just have to save his male form for the more private moments he had.

Loki picked out a soft black jumper from his closet, privately commending the Midgardians on their talent for comfortable clothing. Of course, Asgard was far superior, but leather and furs were heavy, and not always pleasing to wear.

There was a flash of green light behind him, and he jumped, whirling around, blades appearing in his hands and magic coiling round his body. What he saw though, stopped him in his tracks.

“M-mother?” He said disbelievingly, knives disappearing as he took a step towards Frigga.

“Loki, my son, I cannot remain here for long,” she said, smiling sadly at him. “If Odin knew I was contacting you, he would be furious.”

Loki reached for her hand, but his fingers went straight through the illusion. He stared at his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unable to meet her eye.

“I know,” Frigga replied. “No matter what, you will always be my son. Remember that, Loki.”

He looked her in the eye, tears forming.

Loki heard a shout, and Frigga jumped.

“I must go,” she said urgently. “I don’t know when I can see you again, but remember I love you, Loki, and I always will. Be strong, my son.”

“Wait!” Loki cried, grabbing desperately at the illusion as it faded from his view. He stumbled forward and fell to his knees, staring at his hands in shock.

He began to sob softly, hands clutching his hair as he tried to hold himself together.

Behind the door, Natasha slipped away quietly.

* * *

“Bruce,” Nat said, grabbing hold of him and pulling him away from the others as they drank together on the roof, until they were out of earshot. Not that it really mattered, she supposed, as Thor was making enough noise to drown out a baby elephant playing the drums.

“This is going to sound weird, but I’m concerned about our friend downstairs,” Natasha said cryptically. Bruce stared at her, confused.

“Satan?”

“Loki,” Nat corrected. Bruce nodded in agreement.

“Okay, that sounds less weird. Why are you concerned? He’s not hurt, is he?”

“No,” Nat said. “I think he’s lonely.”

Bruce looked at her quizzically.

“I bumped into him earlier as he was doing the walk of shame back to his floor from Tony’s room-”

“Woah woah woah, that’s a lot to unpack there-”

“That bit isn’t important,” Nat interrupted irritatedly. “I was going to follow him to maybe get him to gossip about it with me, because I make it my mission to know everything about everything that happens here-”

“Little bit creepy,” muttered Bruce.

“ANYWAY,” Nat soldiered on. “When I got to his rooms, I heard him talking to someone, so I had a quick look in, and I’m pretty sure it was his mother, but she wasn’t really there. It was an illusion of some sort. He seemed really distressed, and kind of fell apart after she left.”

“It is a bit odd that he’s not come to socialise, even if it is only to poke fun at Steve,” Bruce mused. “I’ll talk to Tony. He’ll know what to do.”

Nat rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure he will.”

”And stop spying on people. That’s really weird, you know that?”

Natasha shrugged.

* * *

A few days later, Loki was having a morose shower as his mind showed him images of his mother disappearing over and over.

He sullenly got dressed and made his way back into his room to resume the lengthy miserable nap he had been having for a few days. Something was different though.

There was a small basket on his bed, which had been freshly made. Loki cursed himself for being too depressed to cast his wards, like usual, which had resulted in someone catching him by surprise.

He quickly made sure he was alone, before picking up the note on the basket.

_We_ _thought_ _you might be a little lonely,_ scrawled Tony’s messy handwriting. _We decided you might want a companion. Signed, Tony, Bruce, Thor, Nat, Clint and Steve._

Loki frowned. Not only had the entire team attached their names to this...gift, he supposed, they had all signed individually. He would have expected only Tony, and perhaps Thor and his lover Bruce to go to that effort.

He opened the basket and gasped. Inside was nestled a long, thin, green snake. Loki gently picked it up and cooed at it softly. It wound itself around Loki’s arm and hissed appreciatively, and for the first time in a while, Loki smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long this took to post. Just started sixth form at a new school and it’s kinda kicking my ass rn, so this is kinda short and fillery. Hopefully next chapter will be better and take less time-no promises though.

Loki was wrapped in blankets, curled up on the sofa in the living room, murmuring softly to Veronica as she lay on his shoulders, hissing into his ears.

He laughed at something she said, and looked out of the window contentedly as the rain poured on the city.

“That’s really odd, you know,” came Tony’s voice, and Loki ducked under the blankets before Tony could see him. He quickly shifted his body into his female form, ignoring Veronica’s annoyed hiss at the disturbance.

“What is?” Loki said, feigning nonchalance, though his mind was racing.

“You talking to that snake.”

Loki tutted.

“Her name is Veronica. And I don’t see why it’s odd.”

“Well,” Tony picked Veronica up gently, eliciting a small hiss of protest, and set her down in front of the fireplace, where she curled up happily to sleep. “Humans can’t talk to animals, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Loki looked at him haughtily.

“It’s not my fault your species is inferior,” he said, though the bite was taken out of his words by the cocoon of blankets he had wrapped himself in.

Tony laughed as Loki scowled at him.

“That’s not going to work, sweetheart,” Tony said, shoving Loki over to make room for him on the couch.

Loki allowed himself to flop over.

“What’s up darling?”

“The roof,” Loki grumbled, staring into the fireplace where Veronica was happily sleeping.

“Loki,” said Tony, reaching for him.

“What?” Loki didn’t look at him.

“Don’t be a grump,” said Tony, pulling Loki towards him, hands petting his body comfortingly, highlighting his feminine figure. Loki felt awful.

“I’m just tired,” The lie tripped off Loki’s lips without any consideration. He feigned a yawn.

“That godly physique not holding up?” Tony teased gently. Loki smiled wanly.

“Speaking of godly physiques,” Tony said, holding Loki close to him. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with this body recently.” Tony punctuated his words with a squeeze of Loki’s hips.

Loki tensed, before shifting his position.

“Is that a problem?” Loki asked with a deadpan voice masking the anxiety creeping into his brain.

“Not at all,” Tony said. “I like it.”

Loki started breathing again.

“I don’t care what you like,” lied Loki, leaning against Tony.

Tony laughed.

“I know darling. You don’t care about anything right?” He teased.

“No,” protested Loki. “I care about Veronica.”

“Of course.”

Loki pushed Tony’s wandering hands away and stood up.

“I’m going to bed,” he declared, scooping Veronica up from her spot by the fire.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Loki.

“Are you alright?”

Loki smiled.

“Of course. Just tired.”

Tony looked at him suspiciously.

“Alright,” he said letting it go for the moment.

“If you have a minute,” Loki said, moving towards the door. “Could you please explain to the Captain that I pose no danger to him, so subsequently he has no reason to behave like a startled rabbit when in my presence? It’s quite bothersome.”

Tony laughed.

“I’ll try, Morticia. You could try bonding with the team, you know,” he suggested playfully.

Loki feigned a look of snooty disdain.

“Disgusting idea,” he said with a toss of his hair, smirking when it elicited the laugh he was looking for. “I’ll consider it,” he conceded, leaving the room.

He took the stairs slowly, considering his situation. He didn’t quite know what had happened to the point where he was now allowing a mere mortal to make him feel this way. He’d had enough practice hiding his gender while growing up on Asgard, and he was fed up of it. There was something about Tony, however, that Loki wanted desperately to hold on to, and he despised himself for it.

He reached his room and placed Veronica gently onto her bed. He drew a wickedly sharp blade from the air and balanced it on his finger, the sharp tip resting on his skin. He studied it quickly, before taking hold of the hilt.

The only person allowed to hurt him, he decided, was himself


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry that this took so long to write *facepalms* school has just been eating me alive...maybe four a levels was a bad idea. Anyway, sorry for the short chapter, and I don’t know when the next will be up.

Loki entered the living room and stopped dead. Romanoff was sat on the sofa, watching a documentary in what he believed was Russian, and painting her nails with something.

Loki considered his options. He definitely wasn’t scared of Romanoff. He preferred the term sensibly cautious. She didn’t look like she had her weapons on her, but you never knew. Loki himself had a couple knives on him.

His mind was made up for him when she spoke.

“In or out, Loki, stop skulking.”

Loki walked slowly over, keeping a healthy distance, and spread himself out over the adjacent sofa, turning his attention towards the documentary on a place named St Petersburg. Veronica slithered out from his sleeve, curling up on his lap. He petted her absent-mindedly, feeling more comfortable in his male body than he had in weeks.

“What’s her name?” Romanoff asked, nodding towards the snake curled up on Loki’s lap.

“How do you know she’s a girl?” Loki asked, not really caring for the answer, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

“I know snakes,” she replied. “I milk their venom for my knives.”

Loki opened an eye to look at her.

“Joking,” she said, deadpan. “I used to have a pet one when I was young.”

Loki smiled slightly and closed his eye again.

“Veronica.”

They fell into a charged yet comfortable silence.

“What is that substance?” Loki asked finally, nodding towards the small bottle balancing precariously on Romanoff’s thigh.

She raised an eyebrow.

“You mean the nail polish?”

“You mortals polish your nails? Whatever for?” Loki asked in bemusement.

“I’m not really polishing them,” Romanoff replied, smirking. “It’s more of a paint really. It looks nice.”

Loki hummed thoughtfully, not taking his eyes off the bottle.

“Would...you like me to do yours?” Romanoff asked in a stilted voice.

Loki considered her carefully. The substance didn’t seem threatening, and neither did she.

“Why not,” he said, extending a hand imperiously.

Natasha rolled her eyes. Loki wiggled his fingers slightly and the colour changed from bright red to green.

She opened her mouth indignantly, but Loki cut her off.

“I’ll change it back after, don’t worry,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but suppressed a smile, starting with the nails on his right hand.

Loki watched in fascination as she carefully painted his nails, marvelling at such a simple concept that looked so beautiful.

Tony came into the room, fiddling with a tablet thing of some sort, and Loki stiffened, aware of the fact that it was entirely too late to present a female body.

Natasha glared at him, moving the bottle away quickly before he knocked it over with his tense arm.

“Aw, no tits today darling?” Tony said cheekily, moving over to stroke Loki’s hair affectionately.

Natasha muttered under her breath, “disgusting”, and Loki chuckled weakly.

“Only joking,” Tony said, looking only slightly cowed. “I’m still extremely turned on by Mr Loki here,” he said, ducking as Natasha launched a cushion at him.

Loki rolled his eyes, ignoring the flush he felt cover his cheeks.

“Spa day hm?” Tony said, winking at Loki.

“Unfortunately you’re not invited,” replied Natasha dryly, concentrating on Loki’s left hand.

“I’m wounded. Truly I am,” Tony deadpanned. “You know how much I love to be fawned over by hot people. Even better if I’m having an intimate and thorough massage...in case anyone wants to volunteer.”

Loki looked at him, unimpressed.

“Okay okay!” Said Tony, after Loki’s stare became uncomfortable. “Sorry.”

Loki rolled his eyes and smiled fondly. Natasha rolled her eyes and didn’t.

“I guess I’ll have to go see if Thor and Bruce are up for a threesome,” Tony joked, ducking again as a glowing green cushion was launched towards him.

“Joking, joking,” he said. He received a call, and took his phone out of his pocket with a sigh. “I’ll see you two lovebirds later. No Happy,” he said, walking towards the balcony. “Fury is not permitted to enter Stark Tower without clearance, no matter what kind of Presidential authority he claims he has. C’mon forehead, this is basic stuff...”

Loki smiled after him, ignoring the way Tony’s initial reaction to his male body stung ever so slightly.


	19. Chapter 19

Loki wasn’t hiding from Tony. He was curled up in the corner of his library with blankets piled on top of him, concealing him fully, because he wanted to. Obviously.

He felt a tickle down his spine, alerting him to someone breaking the wards he had placed around his not-hiding-place.

“This is pathetic,” came Natasha’s voice from startlingly close to Loki.

“I will smite you,” Loki mumbled.

Loki sensed Natasha sit next to him, and he slowly pulled the blankets off his face.

“Why are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding,” Loki protested. “I’m practicing.”

“Practicing hiding?”

Loki glared at her.

“Why are you hiding from Tony?” Natasha asked gently.

“Who says I’m hiding from him?” Loki said, though his heart wasn’t in it.

“Either that or you’re hiding from yourself.”

Loki looked down.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Are you a girl or a boy today?”

“Boy,” Loki answered automatically, before realising his mistake. “I mean-”

Natasha placed a hand over Loki’s.

“I know. I can tell, no matter what your body looks like.”

Loki breathed in heavily.

“The baggy clothing, the way you avoid looking at yourself, the way you curl in on yourself whenever Tony says whatever it is about your body.”

“How-”

“I’m observant.”

Loki felt a tear slip down his cheek, but didn’t bother hiding it. She knew everything anyway.

“I want him to love me,” he whispered.

“He does love you,” said Natasha. “He is insensitive, volatile, self obsessed and awful at communication-”

“I know,” mumbled Loki.

“But I know he’s a good person, and he loves you. I can see it. He loves all of you boy or girl, good or evil, happy or sad.”

“How can you be sure?” Loki asked quietly.

“Because he is happy. I’ve never seen him like this before. You make him genuinely happy, and if he knew what his stupid comments were doing to you he would be horrified. He loves every part of you, I promise, despite what his ridiculous wisecracks say,” Nat said, squeezing Loki’s hand slightly.

Loki breathed out heavily, shaking slightly.

“I’m not used to people liking both. I either have to be a strong warrior for Asgard or a soft woman for my lovers,” he said quietly, not looking at Natasha as he picked at a loose thread on the blanket.

“You can be a strong warrior when you’re female,” Natasha said, almost indignantly.

“Maybe here on Midgard. It’s different on Asgard,” Loki explained. “The Lady Sif was only permitted to fight for her home after Thor personally requested it. He would never do so for me. I hardly fight the correct way when I’m a man, let alone when I’m female,” he continued, almost bitterly.

“Tony would never think that way,” Natasha said. Loki nodded.

“I know. I’m just scared.”

Nat took both of his hands and looked into his eyes.

“We’re all scared of something.”

* * *

“Hello, darling,” Tony greeted as Loki appeared at the doorway to his office. “This is quite the welcome interruption.”

Loki took a deep breath.

“Even though I look like this?”

Tony looked up at him confusedly.

“Look like what? Is this a test?”

“Even though I’m male?”

“Yes?” Tony said quizzically. “You know I love you either way right?”

Loki nodded, looking down as tears began to spring to his eyes.

“Loki? You do know that don’t you?”

Loki said nothing.

“Oh,” Tony said quietly. “Oh Loki.”

Loki felt Tony pull him in for a hug, and he leaned against Tony.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid but-”

“Don’t say that,” Tony said quickly. “This is my fault.” He pulled away slightly to look Loki in the eye, and stroked a tear away softly.

“I am so sorry that I’ve made you feel like this. I promise I love you in every single way, in every single form. Okay?”

Loki smiled softly.

“Okay,” he whispered.

Tony pulled him back in for another hug.

“I love you,” he said.

Loki smiled. As mortals went, maybe this one was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! All done. Thank you all so much for all your support throughout this journey. A special thanks to TimeLadyHope who has commented on every single chapter!! Massive thanks to you. To everyone who has read, left kudos, commented enjoyed, thank you all so much, it means so much to me. In case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.


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